Never Touch My Heart
by Alva Moondancer
Summary: A story about a Healer in Valdemar, along with some various random other characters, including a reincarnation, Heralds, Bards and Healers along with many others. Oh yeah, and a lifebond. I don't own Valdemar or the lyrics I used.
1. The Healer

_Another year goes by_  
 _Another transfer and I go_  
 _To seek another world that_  
 _Holds no faces that I know_

She shouldered her pack, walking away from the village. There was no glancing back. It was past time she left. The people of the village were starting to have faces, starting to be friends. She couldn't go through that. Not again.

There was no more of that friendship business with her. Not anymore. Everyone that came close to her died. She couldn't bear it. Not again.

 _Another sky, another star_  
 _Forgive me that I flee_  
 _You try to breach the barriers_  
 _Between yourselves and me_

After days of walking, she came across another village. From the looks she was getting it seemed that the people here never saw strangers. Or she just looked like hell. One of the two.

Well, there was nothing she could do about that. She'd been traveling for ten days, sleeping on the ground, traveling long past sundown and waking at dawn. Horses could become friends too quickly. She couldn't have a friend. Not again.

 _Now leave me to my silences_  
 _And let me live apart_  
 _I'll heal your battered bodies_  
 _Don't try to touch my heart_

"Ma'am! Please, come help! My Arryn's fallen down a hole and I think he broke his leg! Help!" Dorthi yelled.

The healer dropped her knitting and grabbed her bag. "I'm coming. Just a moment."

The boy, Arryn, hadn't broken his leg. It was just a minor sprain of an ankle. Nothing major. It would heal in a matter of days.

"I don't know how to thank you," Dorthi said. "Please, join my family for dinner. I'd be grateful to have you over."

Dorthi was the one that the healer was training to be her replacement. The older woman was quite nimble with herbs and knew everything that was needed for minor injuries and midwifery. The healer could leave now.

The healer looked down at the ground. "Thank you for the offer, but I must pack tonight. You know enough about healing now to get by. It's time for me to be moving on." She was getting too close to the people in this village. Far too close. It was time to move.

 _I know the things you say of me_  
 _You think that I don't hear_  
 _You call me Iron Maiden_  
 _Well how can you know I fear-_

"That healer lady has got to made of steel. Elwood has been flirting with her ever since she got here and she hasn't taken the hint. Hell, he's even outright asked her to share his bed and she'd denied him. What's up with that? If Elwood gave me a second glance, I'd leap at the chance. She's not shaych, that much I do know. Lona's shaych and she knows that the healer isn't."

"She's definitely not normal. I agree with you on that."

Glancing down at the dirt, she sighed and walked back to her little cottage. It would be best for her to go to sleep and pretend she had never heard that conversation.

 _The day that always comes_  
 _That means my visit here must end_  
 _The day I cease to heal a wound_  
 _And start to heal a friend_

She stared down into the glassy eyes of a fevered man. It was Elwood, the man who had sought her hand since the moment he saw her.

A cold was all that ailed him initially. Now, after spending a week of nights on lambing watch in the cold and damp, his cold had grown to pneumonia. He hadn't come to her for the cold. Being a young man, he had simply decided to tough it out. That was a foolish decision, she thought, watching his chest move in frantic, swift breaths. She was doing everything she could for him.

Over the night, his breathing grew more and more labored and his fever soared. She wiped his forehead with a damp sponge, trying to keep his temperature down as best she could. That was all she could do at this point. Without the Healing Gift, she relied entirely on herbs and common sense. She could do nothing more than ease his passing.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched the man she had come to love die. This was why she couldn't stay in one place for long. This was why she had to leave.

 _So please don't offer me your hands_  
 _The sooner we must part_  
 _I'll heal your battered bodies_  
 _Don't try to touch my heart_

Staring down at a grave marked only by a wooden stake, she tried to choke back sobs. This was why she should have left months ago. She had gotten too attached to these people.

Now would be the perfect time to leave. She wouldn't be needed now that she had trained a successor. Summer was the time of few illnesses. She didn't need to worry overmuch about them. They could do it.

Again shouldering her pack, she started walking. It was time to visit another village. At least for a little while.

 _There was a time I didn't vale_  
 _Myself in homemade night_  
 _When I had friends and lovers_  
 _And the days we shared were bright_

There was a stream crossing her path. Staring at it with distaste, she stopped. It looked too deep to cross without getting soaking wet and there was no time to dry before dark.

Reluctantly, she set her packs down and started making camp. There was still at least two marks of daylight. What she going to do?

Setting up camp took just a short time, though she lingered as much as she could over it. She sat on a log and stared at the fire. Her camp was so quiet. Just the crackling of the fire and the occasional gust of wind.

It was such a stark contrast to her camps only a few short years ago. People laughing, children crying, dogs barking, cats meowing. She could remember that time well. It stuck in her mind. She couldn't get it out.

 _But our ship struck and foundered_  
 _In a stormy terrible sky_  
 _Amid the shattered wreckage_  
 _I could only watch them die_

They were aboard a ship, traveling to a new land in search of a better life. That was the traditional reason to travel, it seemed. On the ship the healer was on, there were three family groups beside hers. The voyage was months long, long enough for everyone to become close. So close in fact, that by only three months in, they all felt like one big family group.

About a week away from the end of the voyage, a storm blew up. It looked to be just a normal gale. She remembered hearing after the second day of the storm that it wasn't natural. The storm was mage made. And it was there to stay. Someone wanted something on the ship. They would stop at nothing to get it.

It got too close to a rocky shore. The storm had shrouded everything and the ship crashed. Somehow, the healer had gotten thrown up onto a sandy shore. The rest of her shipmates had drowned or been broken on the rocks.

At that point in time, she was not a healer. She was simply a young girl. There were dozens who died as she watched and she could do nothing to save them. Nothing.

 _So please don't wake the memory_  
 _Of the pain it must impart_  
 _I'll heal your battered bodies_  
 _Don't try, to touch my heart_

Another village, another group of people. Every fall, she was at another place, with different people. It hurt too much to heal her friends. She wouldn't do it anymore. She couldn't. Her heart was fragmented enough. It didn't need to broken again.

 _Now I have worn my armor tight_  
 _Ever since that day_  
 _No love or friendships worth the pain_  
 _Of tearing it away_

"Would you care to join me for dinner? And my family. We'd love to have you over. It would be an honor to host you. Please come?" The man was babbling. She stared at him impassively until his rambling trailed off.

"Apologizes, but I am busy in the evening. It is one of the few chances I have to be alone." The healer turned on her heel and went inside her house. She wasn't letting her guard down again. Not going to happen.

 _As long as you are faceless_  
 _I can heal the hurts I see_  
 _But as soon you have faces_  
 _Your wounds cut into me_

She had heard about the Tedrel campaign and offered her services as healer to the Army. They gladly accepted her.

This was the kind of job she preferred. There was no chance to get to know anyone in the crazy chaos that was a war camp. Simply splendid.

Every day, there was a new influx of wounded that had to be taken care of. Every day, there were wounded to check on. It was so busy, no one noticed when a simple, unGifted healer went missing. One day she was there, the next, she was gone. No one noticed and that's the way she liked it. Nobody noticed her and she didn't form any attachments. It was a lonely and unfulfilling life, but it was the life she wanted. At least, that's what she believed.

 _So let me wall you out_  
 _And let no breaching start_  
 _I'll heal your battered bodies_  
 _Just never touch my heart_

* * *

 _I don't own anything. The lyrics are from the song_ Medic _by Mercedes Lackey and sung by Heather Alexander (Alexander James).  
_


	2. Lifebonds

A soldier stared blearily up at a brown clad woman above him. The woman knelt beside his battered body, gently straightening his arms and legs. Nothing was broken, he knew. It would be a lot more painful for his limbs to be moved if they were broken.

The healer wrapped his wounds deftly and carefully, stemming the bleeding. As soon as she finished, she stood up and moved along to the next injured fighter. There wasn't much she could do. All she could do was stop the bleeding and straighten broken limbs. She would save lives that way, but not as many as other, Gifted Healers could. Every little thing helped, she knew, but it didn't always help enough.

She ghosted from fallen to fallen, doing her best to ease their suffering. As far as she believed, those whom she helped didn't notice her.

Despite the great pain one man was in, he noticed the healer. He noticed her careful ministrations to every wounded woman or man. He watched her as she carefully avoided looking into the faces of the wounded unless they had head wounds. Even then, she seemed to only try to see the people for their wounds. As she came to him, he looked at her face, memorizing her features. A sort of connection sprung up between them.

As quickly as she had come, she moved on to another part of the battlefield. The man stared at her receding back, wondering who she was. He'd spent some time in the infirmary assisting the Healers, but he had never seen her before.

Blackness overtook him and he knew nothing more.

...

Hours later, he woke to the sound of running and the sight of a dull green ceiling. His leg itched; he wanted so badly to reach down and scratch it. That would be a bad idea. A very bad one.

A face showed up in his field of vision. Flinching, he looked up at the figure until it slowly came into focus. A woman wearing a pale shade of green stood next to him. The woman peered at him with concern.

"Markis, are you feeling alright?" The Healer watched Markis carefully

Slowly, the wounded man nodded. "I'm fine." He revised his statement after seeing the slight look of confusion on the Healer's face. "Well, rather, as well as can be expected."

"Good. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" She looked down at the ground, before asking her question. "Who patched you up when you were on the battle field?"

"A woman. She was wearing pale brown clothes. I think she was wearing a sword, but I'm not sure. Why?"

"Well, a handful people have mentioned a woman in brown has tended them. Not many people saw her face, so…" The Healer shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure if we'd be able to find her again. The records say a woman by the name of Eiza signed up to help with non-Gifted healing, but no one seems to remember her. It's a bit strange."

"I saw her face," Markis said hesitantly. "If I saw her again, I would most likely recognize her. She was definitely foreign, not from any of the countries around. Maybe from Iftel, but that's not very likely. I want to find her again."

The Healer glanced at Markis, noting the slightly lovestruck look in his eyes. She kept silent on her noticings. It would not do to tell the man of his potential lifebond if he'll see the woman again.

...

A few miles away, in a wagon train full of children, Eiza was being swarmed. The children rescued from the Tedrel camp were desperate for adults. Any adult and every adult had a small horde of children surrounding them.

Completely overwhelmed, Eiza was trying her best to stay stoic and distant, but it was difficult. The youngest children could barely lisp what they wanted. Even the older children were adorable.

She patched up as many injuries as she could. It took her until the caravan reached the camp for her to detach herself from the group of children. Once there, she slipped away to the wounded tents to assist with the wounded there.

...

Markis was just waking up from a long nap in pain. He groaned and tried to roll over, but a gentle hand kept him still. Barely awake, he kept his eyes shut.

"Hold still. I need to change your bandages," a sympathetic voice said. "With how busy the Healers have been, some of the less serious cases have been a bit neglected. I've just stepped in to help."

That voice was familiar. He knew it from somewhere. But he hadn't heard it before. Had he? Slowly, he pulled open his tired eyelids. At first, he didn't recognize her. Smiling had changed her face so much. Their eyes met and he knew who she was. She was the healer in brown that saved his life.

An almost silent breath escaped Eiza. She remembered him. The one soldier who looked at her before blacking out in pain and shock. The only soldier who didn't flinch away from her when she was first glimpsed. She hadn't been wearing a recognizable uniform. All she wore was brown riding leathers. Not visible weapons, but that meant nothing. There were any number of ways of concealing weapons.

"I know you." Her voice was very quiet. "Why do I know you so well? I think this is the second time I've seen you. Who are you?"

Markis shrugged. "I'm Markis. From Hardorn. I've only seen you the once before. Who are you?"

"I'm Eiza L'Archarné. From a place across the ocean. I'm not sure what it's called. It's been too long since I've been there." Eiza hesitantly reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulder.

Gently, he reached up and placed his hand on top of hers. It felt right. "Do you know about lifebonds?"

With a shake of her head she sat down on the chair beside him. "Not much. They were sung about in songs that I heard. Only mentioned briefly."

"Well…" Markis trailed off. He had no idea how to explain the concept.

Luckily for him, a Healer walked in right at that moment. The man almost did an about face, going to leave the 'couple' in peace.

"Oh no, wait. We… I… have some questions for you." Eiza blushed slightly, removing her hand off of Markis's shoulder. "What is a lifebond?"

The Healer walked a bit closer to the pair and looked at them closely. "How long have you known each other?"

"Less than a week. I saw her first on the battlefield: she was a battlefield medic. Then she came in less than an hour ago. I knew her when I first saw her. She… clicked with me," Markis explained. "I had to find her again. And I did. And now, I'm sure we're lifebonded. I have been feeling flashes of emotion that didn't belong. I know I'm not an Empath; it made no sense for me to be feeling that sort of thing. None at all."

Suspicions rose into Eiza's eyes. "You're not an ordinary soldier, are you. You've got a Gift, from what it sounds like, and you're in your own tent. There's a tent flap large enough to fit a horse through. If you were just in your own tent, I'd assume you were a high ranking official, but all those things add up to just one thing. You're a Herald."

Markis glanced at the ground. "Yes. I'm a Herald. My Companion is Jissa. She's always in the back of my mind. I'm sorry I didn't tell you immediately, but…" He trailed off, wondering what to say next.

Eiza stared at him with a touch of disbelief. "Why were you lying on the battlefield without her? Why were you lying on the battlefield in the first place?"

"I had sent her off to go and see if she could help round up some assistance to help me take care of the last of the Tedrels. I got attacked and she got wrapped up in something. She was at my side seconds after you left. I was injured minutes before you got there," he said softly. "She's right outside the tent, if you want to meet her."

The Healer cleared his throat. "If the pair of you don't need anything, I'll be leaving now." With an about face any soldier would be proud of, he left the lifebonded couple in peace.

* * *

 _If you see any errors, whether they be grammar, spelling or timeline, point them out. I'll fix them. On another note, please review. It makes me very happy! :)_


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